My Wife and Best Friend

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, “Thats quite a heavy drink. Whats the problem?” After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, “I found my wife in bed with my best friend.” Wow,” says the barkeep., “What did you do about it?”… Read More »

Ask Mommy

Little Johnny and her mother were out and about. Little Johnny, out of the blue, asked her mother, “Mommy, How old are you?” The mother responded, “Honey, women dont talk about their age. Youll learn this as you get older. Little Johnny then asked, “Mommy, how much do you weight?” Her mother responded again, “Thats… Read More »

Answering machine message

You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer… Read More »

Things Mom Taught Me…

My Mother taught me LOGIC…”If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.” My Mother taught me MEDICINE…”If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they’re going to freeze that way.” My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD…”If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get… Read More »

A rugby player

A rugby player was hurt very badly during a scrum and he had both of his ears ripped off. Since he was permanently disfigured, he decided to give up playing Rugby for good. His club and insurance company ensured that a large sum of money went his way. One day, he decided to invest his… Read More »

A father and his son

A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can’t find the tickets. Dad: “Nip home and see if I left the tickets there.” Bobby: “No probs, Dad.” Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: “Yep, they’re on the kitchen… Read More »

Fishing With Magnets

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any.” replied the first blonde.

Blonde Astronaut?

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, They called the brunette in and asked her a question. “If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want? To go to and why?” After pondering the question she answered,… Read More »

I have the key to success

There is a small business in a small town. The business was about to be shut down so the boss was giving a motivational speech so they would’t lose the business. “Only I have the key to success, and I want to share with you so let’s get out there and make sure this business… Read More »