buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
the salespeople at Radio Shack can’t answer any of your questions.
you are at an air […]
you believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own box on report cards.
you correct a total stranger’s grammar errors.
you cringe whenever someone says, “At least you get three months vacation.”
you hand pieces of paper to your friends and make them spit out their gum in front of you.
you have an overwhelming urge to nod and […]
your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.
you have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.
your firehouse has wheels.
you’ve ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.
Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin’ drunk.
you’ve ever let […]
when using a public restroom, you wash your hands with soap for a full minute and turn off the faucets with your elbows.
when you tell a man you meet for the first time you’re a nurse, you’re expected to laugh hysterically when he asks you for a sponge bath, as if it was the most […]
Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
the Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
the shade of powder you wear is called “Sheet Of Paper”
you accost Christians with pamphlets on the street
you and your boyfriend fight over who gets to wear the fangs
you and your friends take lengthy drives to visit […]
you can’t see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside.
you carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.
you have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies.
you have little songs that you sing to your dog, and she always […]
you know the price of milk per hundred weight but not by the gallon.
the medicine cabinet contains a container of Bag Balm.
you’ve ever gotten an award for fat (and were proud of it).
your idea of a power lunch is a sandwich on a tractor.
your idea of a neighborhood watch is someone calling you to let […]
every coffee company wants to have your picture on their packs of coffee powder.
it’s 6:09 AM and you’re on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.
Starbucks has decided to use you as their official mascot.
you’ve ever carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.
the dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
you […]
there are really only two “true” first names in the world - “brother” or “sister.”
when someone asks you what you would be if you weren’t a Baptist, you say “I’d be ashamed!!!”
you are very sure that the so-called “wine” in the Bible was unfermented grape juice.
you consider fried chicken to be the gospel bird.
you think […]
at the movie Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.
you consider it normal not to see your spouse or children from February to April 15th.
you decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline “==========”
you deduct Exlax as “Moving expenses”
you had no idea that GAP was also a clothing store
you […]