A sign in a psychiatrist’s clinic says: “Madness is expensive - We accept Credit Cards”.

If you look like your photo in your passport - you surely need a vacation.

What is it that prevents Blondes’ admission to College? - High School!

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married, but then it was too late..

Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
“Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?” said the first gal.
“Could you pass me the honey, honey?” said the second.
“Could you pass me the bacon, pig?” said the third.

My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him.

During the first year of marriage, the husband speaks and the wife hears.
During the second year, the wife speaks and the husband hears.
During the third year both of them speak, but only the neighbours hear.

Marriage means that someone helps you coping with all the problems you never had when you were a bachelor.

You can’t buy love, but you most certainly can pay dearly for it.

Yesterday I thought about you all day.
I was at the Zoo.