President Carter’s “funny” jokeSaturday, April 26th, 2008 with No Comments »

In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke.
He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story was […]

Very short books in the makingFriday, April 25th, 2008 with No Comments »

These future bestsellers will not only be popular to the stupid, but they will also save trees. When they come out, you can expect each of them to take up no more than half of a page.
1. Attractive leaders of the Feminist Movement
2. Clinton Policies that actually save money
3. The Logic of the Politically Correct
4. […]

Short laughs & quipsThursday, April 24th, 2008 with No Comments »

Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won’t.
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There’s one thing the Democrats and Republicans share in common: Our money.
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…Veni, Vedi, Clinti–I came, I saw, I lied.
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A little girl asked her father, “Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with ‘Once Upon A Time’?”
He replied, “No, there is a whole series […]

Make the world happierWednesday, April 23rd, 2008 with No Comments »

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.
Bill: “Why don’t I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy.”
Hillary: “Well, why don’t you throw ten hundred dollar […]

A new dog at the White HouseTuesday, April 22nd, 2008 with No Comments »

Bill Clinton is walking a dog around the White House lawn early one morning.
He walks it past the guard’s post, and the marine says “Mr. President, is that a new dog?”
Clinton smiles, and replies, “Why yes, I got it for my wife.”
The marine looks at the the dog, looks up with a smile and says, […]

Waking Up The PresidentThursday, February 7th, 2008 with No Comments »

The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon.
“Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, “there’s good news and bad news.”
“Oh, no” muttered the President. “Well, let me have the bad news first.”
“The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from […]

Nicknames for BreastsSunday, February 3rd, 2008 with No Comments »

1) Chest Trays
2) NFRU (Not for Recreational Use)
3) Pastor Baiters
4) Mounds of Shame
5) Heavenly Canteens
6) Pearly Weights
7) Hooteronomies
Pizza Pizza
9) Sweater Undulations
10) The Daughters of Lactiticus
11) Racks of Lambs of God
12) Communion Woofers
13) First and Second Mammalonians
14) Pamela’’s Burdens
15) Beelzeboobs

ESL N EnronSaturday, February 2nd, 2008 with No Comments »

hard on ESL teachers?
Because they now have to explain to their students why “to LAY” is worse than “to F*CK”!

George W DrowningThursday, January 31st, 2008 with No Comments »

One day there were three boys walking down the street, and suddenly they heard cries for help. When the boys got to the noise they saw George W. Bush in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning.
Dubya asked the boys how he could ever repay him. The first boy said, “I want […]

Liars ClocksWednesday, January 30th, 2008 with No Comments »

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It’s a slow day for St. Peter, so upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says “I’m not very busy today. Why don’t you let me show you around?”
The guy thinks it’s a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights: the […]