Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ”I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.”
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ”I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.”
Doctor Ahn says, ”I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.”
An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive die and are in heaven. God asks the eye doctor why he should be let into heaven, and the doctor explains to God that he helped people save or regain their sight. God says, ”Welcome to heaven, my son.”
God then asks the heart surgeon what […]
One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying: “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.”
The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself […]
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing whothey like to operate on.
The first surgeon said, “I like operating onlibrarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”.
The second surgeon said, “I like operatingon accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order”.
The third surgeon said, “I like operating onelectricians. […]
Two old ladies, Sunny and Tina, were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain.
Tina pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Sunny: “What’s that?”
Tina: “A condom.”
Sunny: “Where’d you get it?”
Tina: “You can get them at any chemist” […]
A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes
were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So
now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most
powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty ridiculous.
Getting an idea, he walked […]
You’re so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped yo’ mama!
The Chief Executive of an HMO died and was very relieved that he got into
heaven. Of course, he had to check out after 48 hours…
After a visit to the doctor, a man returns home and tells his wife he has
approximately six hours left to live. Of course, they go straight to bed and
have some amazing, athletic sex. Half an hour later, the man asks his wife if
they can have sex again. They do, and it’s even more vigorous and […]
A lady with a frog stuck to her head comes to the doctor’s office. When the
doctor asked her what’s wrong the frog says, “I got something stuck to my ass!”