Will this operation hurt me at all?Saturday, April 19th, 2008 with No Comments »
Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?
Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.
Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?
Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.
A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!
Doctor: Don’t worry about it. You’ll pass eventually.
Liz: I’m the examiner!
5. You never have to watch reruns on television.
4. You are always meeting new people.
3. You don’t have to remember the whines and complaints of your spouse.
2. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
1. Mysteries are always interesting.
A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast.One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said,”Don’t move — I’ll be right back.”When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in amazement, “How did you get that in your mouth, you can’t even move?””I hiccupped.”
A man’s wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman’s body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she […]
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m […]
Two guys are sharing a hospital room.
“What are you in for?”
“I’m getting a circumcision.”
“Damn! I had that done when I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year!”
Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ”I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.”
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ”I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.”
Doctor Ahn says, ”I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.”