Robert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hours late. His wife asks him, “What took you so long?”
The guy says, “That was the worst game of golf I’ve ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Charlie hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack.”
The guy’s […]
The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
When you look up and cause an […]
Golfers who claim they don’t cheat, also lie.
If you’re afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead
of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank
a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
The less skilled the player, the […]
Earl won first prize at a Father’s Day tournament which was an envelope.
When he opened the envelope, he was very surprised to find a voucher for a free visit to a brothel. He had never been to one before but he decided to go the next day even though he was very nervous.
The girls were […]
Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
Form a loose grip.
Keep your head down.
Avoid a quick back swing.
Stay out of the water.
Try not to hit anyone.
If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
Don’t stand directly in front of others.
Quiet please!… while others are preparing to go.
Don’t take extra strokes.
Very good. […]
Lady Luck was seldom kind to Sam. Although Sam had a real zest for life he was constantly beset by bad luck.
He loved poker but poker did not love him; he played the stock market with great anticipation but always seemed to be the one who bought high and sold low.
His life seemed to be […]
There are several men in the locker room of a private club after finishing 18 holes.Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:
“Hello?” “Honey, It’s me.”
“Sugar!”
“Are you at the club?”
“Yes.”
“Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. […]
When you pick up something off the floor, you have to lean on your putter
The only number on your speed dial is 1-800-TEETIME.
You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.
You dream you go to prison but still get conjugal visits with your driver.
You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is […]
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed?”, asked the first detective.
“He was shot with a golf gun,” replied the other.
“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”
“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.”
Three golfing buddies died in an auto accident and went to heaven.
Upon arrival, they noticed the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. St. Peter told them they were welcome to play the course, but he cautioned them with one rule: “Don’t step on the ducks.”
The men had blank expressions on their faces, and […]