A stolen credit cardTuesday, April 22nd, 2008 with No Comments »
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here.”
1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don’t give a rat’s ass […]
Why do women pass less gas than men?
Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure!
Once upon a time there were three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, and they all lived together.
One night the 96 year old ran a bath. She put one foot in and paused. “Was I getting in the tub or out?” she yelled.
The 94 year old hollered back, “I don’t know. I’ll come and see.” […]
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both women barely large enough to see over the dashboard.
As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went right on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it, I could have […]
A man was walking along a Florida beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie.
The genie said, “OK, You released me from the lamp. This is the fourth time this month, and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget […]
7 What do you mean today’s our anniversary?
6. Can we NOT talk to each other tonight? I’d rather just watch TV.
5. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big!
4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
3. Aww, don’t stop for directions, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out how to get there.
2. […]
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don’t even go there!)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great […]
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it’s exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead […]