It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher was trying to get to know her students.
“What did you do this summer?” the teacher asked Suzie.
“Me and my family went to the beach a lot,” Suzie answered.
“That sounds like fun,” said the teacher. “How about you, Emma? What did you do […]
Any father will tell ya that parents spend the first 2-3 years of a daughter’s life trying to teach them to talk, and the next 15 or so trying to get them to shut-up.
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it
above his head without even looking and fired […]
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about
things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his
mother. “He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming
up with a good answer to her husband’s baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought
for a second […]
An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg.
As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several
months later, the doctor took off the cast. “Can I climb stairs now?” asked the
little old lady. “Yes,” he replied. “Thank goodness!” she said. “I’m […]
A monastery in the English countryside had fallen on hard times, and decided
to establish a business to defray their expenses, such as a bakery or winery.
Being English, however, they decided to open a fish-and-chips restaurant. The
establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One
city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers […]
There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a
bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the
nuts. “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy. The
bucket was so full, several rolled out towards […]
Ever notice that a human baby doesn’t walk until it’s tall enough to reach a
parent’s hand?
·Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the
drive before it has stopped snowing.
·”There is only one pretty child in the world and every parent has It.” -
Chinese Proverb.
·I asked Mom if I was a gifted […]
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally
decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said “yes”.
The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was
she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…”
After about an hour of trying to remember to […]
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party
everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day
and age.
The husband responded “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I
would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all of the minor
decisions.
And now […]