Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms
IBM
I Blame Microsoft
Idiots Buy Me
Idiots Building Machines
I’ll Buy Macintoshes
It Bit Me
It Built Microsoft
It’s Better Manually
I’ve Been Mislead
I’ve Been Mugged
WINDOWS
Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed
When I Need Data Output Without Speed
While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation
Will Install Needless Data […]
99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
101 little bugs in the code.
101 little bugs in the code,
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code.
You know you have been on the computer too long when…
When you are counting objects, you go “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…”.
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!”, and […]
The government’s system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999. In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all […]
AAC Alter All Commands
AAD Alter All Data
AAO Add And Overflow
AAR Alter At Random
AB Add Backwards
ABC AlphaBetize Code
ABR Add Beyond Range
ACC Advance CPU Clock
ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents
ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully
ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time
ADB Another Dumb Bug
AEE Absolve Engineering Errors
AFF Add Fudge Factor
AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
AFP Abnormalize Floating Point
AFR Abort Funny Routine
AFVC Add Finagle’s Variable Constant
AGB Add GarBage
AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer
AI Add Improper
AIB Attack Innocent Bystander
AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders
AISG Access and […]
Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked […]
Webster’s Dictionary definition of Windows 95
Windows95: n.
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can’t stand 1 bit of competition.
This article is from the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994: Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Llines, and No Qquestion Seems To Be Too Basic
AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn’t get her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the computer was […]
The Life Cycle of Software
Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
See 3.
See 4.
See 5.
See 6.
See 7.
See 8.
Due […]
By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks.
Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles […]