To the Batmobile! Let’s go! Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed! Roger, ready to move out! (Theme music from Batman; reduce to background.) As you can see, I’m off making Montreal a safer place’ to live. So if you’ll leave a message after the tone, I’ll get back to you as soon as justice […]
Clint Eastwood voice: Go ahead, make my day. Leave a message
Theme music from James Bond: Hello. My name is David, code number 324-5628. I’m sorry I can’t take your call, but I’m on an international mission involving the theft of gold plated Spam. Leave a message after the tone, and should I survive my mission, I’ll call you back. Ciao babies!
You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center. Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey. TNR Surveillance will scramble. If you do not respond, this unit will assume incoming, non-urgent.
You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.
Militaristic mechanical voice: FOXTROT-LIMA-ALPHA-SIERRA-HOTEL. KEY-DESTRUCT-SEQUENCE-NOW. THIS-TERMINAL-ALSO-ACCEPTS-VOICE-MESSAGES.
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
US National Anthem; Ronald Reagan voice: Uhh, hello… I’m, uhhh, ohhhhhh… (Pause.) Well, anyway, I’m here to answer the telephone on behalf of… erm… uhhhh… ermmm… (Pause.) I mean, he can’t come to talk to you right now, but if you leave a message after the, umm oh, the uhhhh… the uhhhhhh… BEEP.
Richard Nixon voice: Hi… Uh, some people say I sound like Richard Nixon… I BEG your pardon! Uh… Everyone’s out right now, so I’m uh… Covering up for them. Please leave your name, number and message promptly at the beep… I don’t want to get blamed for any gaps on this tape. OK machine, you […]
Hello. This is Nonoxynol-9, the personal and private telephone number of Mikhail Vladivostok Gorbachev, General Secretary of the Supreme Council of the glorious Communist Party of the Union of Sovjet Socialist Republics, Commander-In-Chief of the Combined Armies of the Proletariat Peoples of Russia, First Citizen of the Order of Lenin, Supreme Patron of the Soviet […]