The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph
is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los
Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat.
What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.
A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball
and told to find the volume.
The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple
integral.
The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water,
and measured the total displacement.
The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball
table.
A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the
range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several
shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had
completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He […]
All objects in the world can be placed into one of two categories:
- things that need to be fixed,
- things that will need to be fixed after you’ve had a few minutes to play
with them.
A distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true”, the woman
wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest
of my life?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.” The doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, “I’m wondering,
then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is […]
I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the
shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd,
but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water and
tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I […]
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0
(marketing name: Fiancee1.0).
Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0 and it’s a memory hogger, has taken
all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although
he didn’t ask for them, Wife1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and
BrotherInLaw.
Some features I’d like to see in […]
The U.S. military has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any
strategic or tactical problem.
Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to
feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical
situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: attack or retreat?
The computer hums away for an […]
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either […]