Funny Jokes - Blonde Jokes

WOMEN?S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I?m sorry. = You?ll be sorry.

We need… = I want

It?s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want… = You?ll pay for this later. We need to talk… = I need to complain Sure…go ahead = I don?t want you to.

I?m not upset = Of course I?m upset, you moron! You?re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You?re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = …and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper….. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I?m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you?re really not going to like.

I?ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me I?m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you?re dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don?t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In response to What?s wrong?:

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It?s just that you?re such an idiot!