Category Archives: Science Jokes

Chemistry song 07

On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and an exam… Read More »

The biology song 06

O Humid Night (Melody: “O Holy Night”) O Humid Night Anopheline mosquitoes Are circling you in the hope of a meal. She takes a bite, saliva from her mouthparts Drool parasites which you can’t see or feel Your brain can get sick, You will have a coma After the rage and the headaches have passed… Read More »

The biology song 07

Away in a Test Tube (Melody: “Away in a Manger”) Away in a test tube My plague cultures grow On nutrient agar Mankind’s greatest foe It’s easy to grow them If one does it right At thirty-five Celsius All day and all night Once they are ready You can let them go To sicken the… Read More »

Biologist experiment

There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says “Jump frog, jump!”. The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops… Read More »

Blondes to the moon

At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon. The Redheads speak up “That’s been done before, we’re going to go to Mars”. The Blondes speak up “That’s nothing, we’re going to be the first people to go to the Sun”. One of the reporters says “Don’t… Read More »

The astronomy jokes

NASA just disclosed details why the rover wouldn’t accept any commands. They took a picture of the rover’s built-in display which showed a windows screen and the text “press any key to continue”. It is not conclusive yet, but the NASA believes the Mars Pathfinder has found proof of life on Mars. The cd player… Read More »

Administratrium, A New Element!

AMES, IA–The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an… Read More »

Science One-liners

Mole problems? Call Avogadro: 6.023 E23 If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate (Picture of Einstein in a police uniform with caption): 186,000 miles per second. It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law. Feathers are light. The sun gives off light. Therefore, the sun gives off feathers.

Actual Science Tests Report…

These are reputedly real answers to questions on science tests. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state. When… Read More »