Category Archives: Old Age Jokes

Senior Special breakfast

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘Senior Special’ was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99. “Sounds good,” my wife said, “but I don’t want the eggs.” “Then I’ll have to charge you $3.49 because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her. “You mean I’d have to pay… Read More »

Little Old Lady Biker

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door. She proclaims “I want to join your biker club.” The guy was amused and told her that she needed to… Read More »

Uncovering a scam

The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

Pondering old age

How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all I am able to grin when I recall where my get up has been. Old age is golden-so I’ve heard it said- but sometimes I wonder when I… Read More »

Old maid’s burglar

A story I’ll tell of a burglar bold Who started to rob a house; He opened the window, and then crept in As quiet as a mouse. He looked around for a place to hide, ‘Till the folks were all asleep, Then said he, “With their money I’ll take a quiet sneak.” So under the… Read More »

An ode to old age

There’s quite an art to falling apart as the years go by, And life doesn’t begin at 40. That’s a big fat lie. My hair’s getting thinner, my body is not; The few teeth I have are beginning to rot. I smell of Vick’s-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5; My new pacemaker’s all that keeps me… Read More »

A final diagnosis

Thought I’d let my doctor check me, ‘Cause I didn’t feel quite right. . . All those aches and pains annoyed me And I couldn’t sleep at night. He could find no real disorder But he wouldn’t let it rest. What with Medicare and Blue Cross, We would do a couple tests. To the hospital… Read More »

A Senior Citizen

I am a senior citizen… – I’m the life of the party… even when it lasts ’till 8pm. – I’m very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer. – I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I’m going. – I’m good on a trip for at least an hour without… Read More »

Problems driving

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we… Read More »