Category Archives: Food Jokes

Damaging Food

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is… Read More »

Twenty Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex

1) You can GET chocolate. 2) “If you love me you’ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. 4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. 5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to. 6) You can have chocolate… Read More »

Tea

Their once was a Princess who fell in love with an indian, but still wasn’t happy because he had accomplished nothing in his life. One day in the paper the princess read of an herbal tea drinking contest. Suprisingly the in Indian was very good at this and decided to enter. The contest began and… Read More »

Fruit Salad

Three guys who were lost at sea ended up landing on an unfamiliar island. After wandering around for a while, a group of natives picked them up and took them to their hut. The chief came up to them and said, “We will let you live, if you can go out into the jungle and… Read More »

Burger King

There were three jazz players getting ready for a concert. One got done early so he went to a Burger King. He went up to the manager who got mad easily and said,”I want a burger 2,3,4, a juicy burger 2,3,4, not too juicy and not too plain in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove… Read More »

Hot Meal

Two hobo’s are walking down railroad tracks, haven’t eaten in a couple days, and are starving. Ahead of them, lying on the tracks, is a dead buzzard….maggots crawling all over the badly decomposed bird…green flies swarming the stinking mass. Stopping to stare at the smelly thing, one hobo says, “Let’s eat this bastard.” The other… Read More »

Problem

A worried man goes to his doctor and explains, “Doc, there’s something seriously wrong with my digestive system!” “If I eat carrots, when I go to the bathroom, out comes carrots! If I eat peas, I take a dump, out comes peas! I eat apples and I poop apples! I’m worried, Doc; What do you… Read More »

Rules For Diet

If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled by the diet soda. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than… Read More »

Stress Diet

This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day. Breakfast 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast – dry 8 oz skim milk   Lunch 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie   Afternoon Snack Rest of… Read More »