Category Archives: Family Jokes

Last year, when the power mower was broken and wou

kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sunk in. Finally I thought of a clever way to make the point. When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.… Read More »

A conversation

Husband: I hear that fish is good for our brain. Wife: You had better eat a whale. Anne: “How long can a person live without brains?” Billy: “I don’t know. How old are you?” Father: Don’t you think our son gets all his brains from me? Mother: Probably. I still have all mine. Dan: She’s… Read More »

The Perfect Husband

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: – “Hello?” – “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” – “Yes.” – “Great! I am… Read More »

Secret To A Long Marriage

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all… Read More »

Do You Want to Marry Me?

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said “yes”. The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…” After about an hour of… Read More »

Enjoying Kids

Ever notice that a human baby doesn’t walk until it’s tall enough to reach a parent’s hand? ·Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the drive before it has stopped snowing. ·”There is only one pretty child in the world and every parent has It.” – Chinese Proverb. ·I asked… Read More »

Two boys

There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy. The bucket was so full, several… Read More »

A monastery

A monastery in the English countryside had fallen on hard times, and decided to establish a business to defray their expenses, such as a bakery or winery. Being English, however, they decided to open a fish-and-chips restaurant. The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked… Read More »

An old lady

An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. “Can I climb stairs now?” asked the little old lady. “Yes,” he replied. “Thank goodness!”… Read More »