Category Archives: College Jokes

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that… Read More »

Please return to class

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.”Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class.”

Scoundrel

At a university, a lecture is in progress about sexual anomalies. Professor asks the students, “How do we call a man who wants, but can’t?” “Impotent,” the choir of students answers. “Right. And how do we call a man who can but wouldn’t?” After a minute of silence, one female student jumps up and shouts,… Read More »

The Rabbit’s Thesis

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her. “I am going to eat you for lunch!” said the fox. “Wait!” replied the rabbit, “You should at… Read More »

ART OF GRADING

Here is a list of the ways professors grade their final exams: DEPT OF STATISTICS: – All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: – Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade… Read More »

Things that i learned in college

– That it didn’t matter how late I scheduled my first class; I’d sleep right through it. – That I could change so much and barely realize it. – That college kids throw airplanes too. – That if you wear polyester everyone will ask you, “Why are you so dressed up?” – That every clock… Read More »

MAKING THE TEAM

A sweet young thing took her seat on opening day of her college class. The young man behind her tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Why are you wearing a football jersey?” She replied, “Why, I bought it and own it, why shouldn’t I wear it?” He said, “You’re not supposed to wear it… Read More »

Top 10 reasons why studying is better than sex

10. You can usually find someone to do it with. 9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off. 8. You can finish early with-out feelings of guilt or shame. 7. When you open a book, you don’t have to worry about who else has opened… Read More »

Life Science Final

The student*not necessarily a well-prepared student*sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: “Give four advantages of breast milk. “What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best. 1. No need to boil. 2. Cats can’t… Read More »