What does Rod Hull & River Phoenix have in common?
They both had a fatal night on the tiles.

What were Rod Hull’s last words?
“Emu, grab on to that fucking gutter!”

What did Ronald Reagan say after hearing President Clinton’s latest State of the Union speech?
You know, Nancy, the man is a better actor than I ever was.

What is Bill’s idea of safe sex?
When Hillary is out of town.

How do you save Gary Glitter from drowning?
Throw him a boy.

Which Search Engine does Arnold Schwarzenegger use?
Alta Vista baby.

Following the incident this week with Janet Jackson at the Superbowl, I did a search on the internet for ‘Janet Jackson’ + ‘right tit’, and all I got was a picture of her and Michael Jackson…

Have you heard that Princess Diana was on the radio?
And the dashboard, and the windscreen, and…

Why does Monica Lewinsky have such puffy cheeks?
She’s withholding evidence.

What does Princess Di turn into at midnight?
The wall.

How did Frank Sinatra punish his kids?
No ice in their drinks.

Linda McCartney went from pushing vegetables…
To pushing up vegetables.

How do you re-unite INXS?
Get 4 more leather belts.

What was Paul McCartney’s reaction to his wife’s death?
Live and let die.