Category Archives: Bush Jokes

Bush At The Airport

George W. Bush was standing in an airport lobby when he noticed a man in a long flowing white robe, with long white hair and white beard. The man held a staff in one hand and had some stone tablets under his other arm. Approaching the man, George W. inquired, “Pardon me, but aren’t you… Read More »

EMERGENCY EXIT

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, George W.Bush, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened,… Read More »

George Gets Advice

One night, George W. Bush was awakened by the ghost of George Washington. Bush asked, “George, now that I have been elected President, what is the best thing I can do for the country?” “Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised Washington. The next night, Bush was awakened by the ghost… Read More »

Gore and Bush Do Lunch

Al Gore and George W. Bush were seated for lunch in a Washington restaurant. The attractive waitress approached them to take their orders. “I’ll have a ham sandwich,” said Gore. “For you sir?” she asked Bush. “How about a quickie,” Bush replied. “Governor!”, she exclaimed. “How rude, and to think, you’re not even President yet!”… Read More »

Faker jet figher (faker jet fighter)…

Faker jet figher (faker jet fighter)… (instrumental intro) Shrub’s comin’ at em, with his tail hook. Let’s give him jeers of spite; Bush is still a schnook. The press will grovel to this man, in fear Of his right wing mob. But the world sees a faker jet fighter… Faker jet fighter. Mr. Smirk’s fake… Read More »

Bush Wants The Whole World

Bush wants the whole world… in his hand. Bush wants the whole wide world… in his hand. Bush wants the whole world… in his hand. Bush wants the whole world in his hand. Bush wants a war for his father, understand? Bush wants a war for his father, understand? Bush wants a war for his… Read More »

Pillsbury Bake-Off winner

The winner in this year’s $1 million prize in the Pillsbury Bake-Off is a Cream Cheese Brownie Pie created by Roberta Sonefeld from Hopkins, South Carolina. This pie is so rich; George W. Bush asked it for a campaign contribution. During the Republican primaries, George W. Bush spent his campaign money at a rate of… Read More »

Gorbachev and Bush

Told to me by my father, who heard it from his cousin? Gorbachev is hard at work on his country’s budget. His secretary Knocks on the door. “Mr. Secretary, the–” “Not now, I’m busy!” “But…” “Net! Come back in two hours.” Thirty seconds later, she knocks again. “Mr. Secretary, the Phone… you must answer it.”… Read More »

Bush’s 100 Days

January 20: take oath to uphold the honor and dignity of the office of president of the united states. nudge rehnquist, ask what he’s wearing under that dress. january 23: award presidential medal of freedom to ralph nader. january 24: help alec baldwin pack. january 30: memo to jeb: in your face, poindexter! january 31:… Read More »