Category Archives: Bar Jokes

Wake the wife? (not me)

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the Other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.… Read More »

Drinker’s Alphabet

A is for Alcohol :The key to surviving college B is for Beer :The most disgusting alcohol of all, but great for chugging C is for Class :What you’re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party D is for Dancing :A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic… Read More »

Gay Bar

What did one fag say to the other fag in the bar? Can I push your stool?

Hippie in a Bar

This hippie walks into a bar, and thinks it’s a restaurant. He walks up to the counter, and says to the barkeep, “I want a hot dog, not too hot, not too cold, but in the groove.” So the barkeep walks into the back room, and tells this to the manager, who is in a… Read More »

Like Women?

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the… Read More »

A Canadian in a Texas bar

A Canadian is on vacation and walks into a bar. He sits on this HUGE stool and says to the bartender’ man, I heard things are big down here in Texas, but this is ridiculas!’ and orders a mug of beer. He gets a pitcher of beer and asks the bartender, ‘man, I heard that… Read More »

How Old Scotch?

Angus McClod walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of forty-year old Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to go down to the basement and deplete his supply of the rare and expensive liquor, pours a shot of ten-year Scotch and figures that his customer won’t be able to tell the difference. Angus downs… Read More »

Stages of Drunkenness

Stage 1 – SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG.… Read More »

Another drunk joke

There’s an englishman,a scottsman,and an irishman all sitting at a bar with pints in front of them.the bar is full of lands in the englishman’s pint.”oh,that’s repulsive”,he says and pushes his pint away.a fly then lands in the scottsman’s pint.the scott fishes it out,throws it,and slings back his pint. finally one lands in the… Read More »