Category Archives: Asian Jokes

Asian Women

Asian women have always been exotic.
Two guys were arguing about the correct orientation of Japanese women’s sex organs. One said that Japanese women have their going from side to side, while the other said it goes vertical, just like everybody else. The argument went on for hours until they decided to settle it once and for all by going to another friend who has a Japanese wife. Surely, he should know! After being told of the subject of the argument, the friend quickly said: “Vertical, just like everybody else”, and I’ll prove it! Although suspecting that the duo would just feast their eyes on his wife’s pussy, he called his wife anyway and she appeared from the second floor bedroom. “Honey, take off your panties and slide down the banister” Like a good obedient wife, she obliged and mounted the banister.
On the way down there was a long screeeeeech, and she landed on the floor. See? Didn’t I tell you guys that its vertical, just like everybody else? The two scratched their heads in wonder. What does that prove, one asks? “If it were horizontal, the sound would have been, …..blub…blub….blub…blub

Asian Lady

The story goes that there was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband.

The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.

The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn’t know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store…

.
..

What were you thinking?
Helloooooo, her husband speaks English!!!!!!!!

Asian Guy And Black Guy In Locker Room

A stereotypical black guy steps out of the shower in a college
locker room. An Asian guy checks out his penis and says, “How come
yours is so huge? I would love to have one like that.”

The black guy laughs and says, “You can. Tie a heavy weight to it
for a couple of weeks. It’ll stretch and get big and look just
like mine.”

Two weeks later they meet again. The black guy asks, “Has it grown
any?”

The poor Asian guy responds, “It hasn’t grown at all yet – but it
has gone black!”

Asian Farts Don’t Stink

A little old Asian lady goes to the doctor in China, and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it doesn’t bother me too much… my farts never smell, and they’re always quiet. But I’ve been doing it very often.”

The doctor asks her to explain more, and the old lady says, “In fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You probably didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and they’re silent.”

The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week. “The next week the lady comes back.

“Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent…stink terribly.”

The doctor says, “Good!!! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”

Asian Breasts

A group of Asian women were visiting a village located in South Africa. They came across a booth selling human breast. One of the Asian lady asked the butcher, “Why are you selling women’s breast?” The butcher replied, “In Ouagadougou, we have found that consuming women’s breast can increase men’s sex drive, and enlarge the size of their penis.”

Hearing about the “enlarging the penis” the Asian woman was determined to buy some for her husband. She quickly asks the butcher for the price of the breast. “Well,” says the butcher, “It depends on what kind of breast you want. We have black breast, white breast, and Asian breast.”

“Give me the price of each!”, said the Asian lady impatiently. “The black breasts are $200 a pound,” the butcher says. “White breasts are $300 a pound, and the Asian breasts are $400 a pound.”

The Asian women were glad to hear that Asian breasts were the most expensive in the breast booth. “Hey, not bad! Asian breasts are worth more!”, said one of the Asian ladies.

“No no no, you don’t understand,” the butcher explains, “you don’t know how many Asian women we have to kill to get one pound of breast!”

Asean Meeting

During the ASEAN meeting, all PM of the ASEAN countries were present except for Goh Chok Tong who was represented by LKY.

During a conversation, Dr. Mahathir of Malaysia says, “I came up with a bright idea to produce Proton cars and with a initial investment of M$1 billion, we now make M$50 million a year. That is what I call Money Mind.”

Mr. Suharto of Indonesia says: “I am going to start a car manufacturing plant to produce our National car for only $500 million RP and it will generate $50 RP million a year. Isn’t that smarter.”

LKY of Singapore was not impress and say, “I told my Land Transport Minister to spend SGD$500 to buy a old printing machine and also made SGD$50 million a year.”

Everybody was taken aback and asks “What the fuck can you do with just SGD$500 only ?”

And LKY replied “I use the machine to print COE !!!”