Category Archives: Asian Jokes

Karate In Heaven

There were two old buddies who continued to compete in karate tournaments well past their prime. One day, while relaxing after yet another competition, they were chatting and wondering if there is karate in heaven and made a pact that whoever passed away first would come back and let the other know. About a week… Read More »

Johnny

Teacher: “Johnny, put the word INFATUATION in a sentence”. Johnny: “A Jap tourist walks into Pauline Hanson’s fish and chip shop, and asks her `How do you cook your chips?’, so Pauline tells him, `In fat you Asian’”.

Japanese, Indonesian, & Malaysian

Once upon a time three people were stranded out at sea – A Japanese, a Malaysian and an Indonesian. The boat started leaking and if they do not act fast they would all die. The Japanese (as usual) was the first to take the initiative. He threw all his Japanese gizmo – CD player, hi-fi,… Read More »

How To Be A Perfect Asian Parent

(From the Second Generation Perspective) Be a little more lenient on the 7PM curfew. Don’t ask where the other point went when your child comes home with a 99 course grade on his/her report card. Don’t “ai-ya” loudly at your kid’s dress habits. Don’t blatantly hint about the merits of Hah-phoo (Harvard), Yale-uh (Yale), Stan-phoo… Read More »

How To Be The Perfect Asian Kid

Score 1600 on the SAT. Play the violin or piano on the level of a concert performer. Apply to and be accepted by 27 colleges. Have three hobbies: studying, studying, and studying. Go to a prestigious Ivy League university and win enough scholarship to pay for it. Love classical music and detest talking on the… Read More »

Haircut

There is this good ol’ barber in some city in the US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: “I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.” The florist is happy and… Read More »

FOB Kid

The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. So she asks him to please step up to the front of the class and recite his sentence.… Read More »

Fly In My Soup

There were 3 men having soup together in a restaurant. One was white, the others were Asian and Jewish. They all found out that there was a fly in each of their soups. The white guy was horrified and called the waiter to replace the soup. The Asian guy saw what the white guy did,… Read More »

Fluctuations

An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says “Fluctuations” The Asian guy storms out, and just… Read More »