Funny Jokes – Blonde Jokes

A blonde, a brunette and a readhead are stuck on an island. For year and years they live there, one day they find a magic lamp.
They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a geenie.
The geenie says “since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one”
The brunette goes first, “I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life – I just want to go home” … POOF she is gone.
The redhead makes her wish “This place sucks, I want to go home too” … POOF she is gone.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her “My dear what is the matter, “I wish my friends were here” … POOF!!!

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord — nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells “Oh! So you wanna race, huh?”

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio.

The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off.

A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing.

The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled,
“You bimbo, it’s blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”

What’s the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?

Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

What’s the diffrence between a blonde and a mosquito?

When you smack mosquito it stops sucking.

Person 1: What’s the difference between a blonde and garbage?

Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror.

How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?

By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag)?

“‘Debbie’…that’s cute. What did you name the other one?”

How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?

She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

How can you tell the difference between an elephant and a grape?

A grape is purple.

What do you call an Elephant crossed with a Rhino?

Hellifino.

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, “And get me another whisky you bitch”. Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach, “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I’ll kick your ass”.

Next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, “For someone who can’t fly you’re a lippy bastard!”