Funny Jokes – Blonde Jokes

Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general
practitioner looks at it and says, “Looks like a duck, flies like a duck… it’s
probably a duck,” shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.
The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks
through the pages of a bird manual, and says, “Hmmmm…Green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound…might be a duck.” He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.
A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, “Go see if that was a duck.”

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?
Doctor: Sell!

Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can’t see him now. Next.

A man working at a lumberyard is pushing a tree through a saw when he accidentally shears off all then of his fingers. He rushes to the emergency room of a nearby hospital where the awaiting doctor takes a look and says, “Yuck! Well, give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do.” “I haven’t got the fingers.” The doctor says, “What do you mean, you haven’t got the fingers? This is the age of medical advances. We’ve got microsurgery and all sorts of incredible techniques! Why didn’t you bring me the fingers?” “Well, heck doc, I tried, but I couldn’t pick ‘em up!”

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had
prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.
‘’Doctor, the hormones you’ve been giving me have really helped, but I’m
afraid that you’re giving me too much. I’ve started growing hair in places that I’ve never grown hair before.’’
The doctor reassured her, ‘’A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?’’
‘’On my testicles, which is something else I want to talk to you about…,’’ replied the lady.

How can you tell if you have a moron computer operator working for you?
Answer: Find the computer operator using white out on the monitor trying to erase the mistakes.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m a schizophrenic
And so am I.

“Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm!”
“Are you doing anything for it?”
“Snorting pepper.”