Funny Jokes – Blonde Jokes

A Swiss guy visiting Sydney, Australia, pulls up at a bus stop where two locals are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.

The two Aussies just stare at him.

“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries.

The two continue to stare.

“Parlare Italiano?”

No response.

“Hablan ustedes Espanol?”

Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Aussie turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”

“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”

The New York City school board has officially declared
Jewish English – now dubbed Hebonics – as a second
language. Backers of the move say the city’s School
District is the first in the state to recognize
Hebonics as a valid language and significant attribute
of New York culture. According to Howard Schollman,
linguistics professor at New York University and
renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure of
Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European
language patterns, as well as Yiddish. Continue reading »

Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?
A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.
Q: What do you call Santa’s Helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses!
Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time?
A: A dependent Claus.