Funny Jokes – Blonde Jokes

* SHY ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “No! I just came in to check my E-mail!”

* VIOLENT ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “Go to hell your son-of-a-bitch!”

* HYPOCRITE ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “This is his brother, do you want to leave a message?”

* ICQ USER IN LOVE
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “I’m in a chat with my baby! bye!”

* BUSY ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: ” ”

* ICQ USER WITH BAD MANNERS
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They don’t reply!

* SINCERE ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “I have been here since last night! I want to break the record.”

* STUPID ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: A BUNCH OF STUPIDITIES!

* GAY ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: ” ;-****** ”

* RUDE ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply:

/”\
|\./|
| |
| |
|>*
| * * * * |> >
| /
| /
| /
\ |
|–/”’\–|
| |–+= | |
|–\…/–|
* DISTRACTED ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “I’m fine and you?”

* HOSTILE ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They put you on “DND” OR “AWAY TO USER.”

* PUSILLANIMOUS ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They disconnect themselves.

* SOCIAL ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They send you a “CHAT REQUEST.”

* HORNY ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “Sorry for being so slow to answer, the reason is that when I see you ONLINE I start typing with just one hand.”

* OLYMPIAN ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “I havr been almhst 36 houns herg!” (Grammar mistakes are due to his long period chatting)

* PROFESSIONAL ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “I have been here almost two days! Let me change my diaper before we start.”

* VIAGRA INFLUENCED ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “Do you wanna get laid?”

* LIAR ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “No! I just came from the beach!”

* NEWBEE ICQ USER
When you ask them: “Have you been connected all day?” They reply: “Hey! If someone wants to send you a file called “penpals” or “Good days”, don’t take it! IT’S A VIRUS

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public You’d be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut – you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider’s home
And a virus was the flue!
I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!