Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any.” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.
“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. “Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.”
And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are Steelheads in this river?”
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment
on sending women to different planets. First, They called the brunette in and
asked her a question.
“If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want? To go to and
After pondering the question she answered, “I would like to go to Mars,
because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra
terrestrial life on the planet.”
They said “well okay, thank you.” And told her that they would get back to
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her same
question. In reply, “I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings.”
Again, “thank you” and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they
asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, “I
would like to go to the Sun.”
The people from NASA replied, “Why, don’t you know that if you went to the sun
you would burn to death?”
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. “Are you Guys dumb? I’d go at
There is a small business in a small town.
The business was about to be shut down so the boss was giving a motivational speech so they would’t lose the business. “Only I have the key to success, and I want to share with you so let’s get out there and make sure this business stays open!” He finished everyone clapped including his blonde secretary.
So at the next day at work when the boss took his coat off and put his keys in the box everyone puts there keys in. And a few minutes later he came out of his office to find his (blonde) secretary sitting at her desk playing with his keys. “What are you doing?” He asked her. “Yesterday at your speech you said you had the KEY of success.”
Thanks to Alice Hunter
The little girl returned from church deeply musing on the sermon, in which the preacher had declared that animals, lacking souls, could not go to heaven. As the result of her meditation, she presented a problem to the family at the dinner table, when she asked earnestly:
“If cats don’t go to heaven, where do the angels get the strings for their harps?”
Yo mama was so stupid she died of starvation in the grocery store.
Thanks to Michael
Yo mama so poor, when you ring her bell, she sticks her head out the window and yells, “DING DONG!”
Your mama’s so ugly, she laid down to take a beauty nap and slipped into a coma.
Yo mama’s so fat she needed a hula hoop for her wedding ring!
Yo mama is so ugly, your dad only takes her out on October 31st.
Yo mama so nasty, she makes Speed Stick deodorant slow down.
Yo mama is so fat, she shaves her legs with a lawnmower.
Yo mama’s so big, fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to Wal-Mart, she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.