Play Sudaku all day free online, the objective is to fill a 9×9 grid with digits so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 sub-grids that compose the grid contains digits from 1 to 9. Each puzzle has a unique solution.
A blonde walked into the drug store to do some shopping. While walking around she kept noticing a shiny object behind the counter. When she went to pay, she asked the cashier, “What’s that shiny object behind the counter?”
The cashier told her, “That’s a thermos.”
The blonde asked her, “What does it do?”
The cashier told her, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”
The blonde thought that was incredible, so she bought it. The next day at work her boss, another blonde, came to her desk and asked her, “What’s that shiny object?”
The blonde worker told her, “It is a thermos.”
Intrigued, the boss asked what it did. The worker told her that it kept hot things hot and cold things cold. Her boss then asked her what she had in it.
“Well, right now I have a popcicle and coffee in it.”
A blonde man frantically calls 911 and says, “Help, my wife has gone into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart!”
The 911 operator asks, “Is this her first child?”
To which the blonde replies, “Of course not you idiot, this is her husband!”
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, “Thats quite a heavy drink. Whats the problem?”
After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, “I found my wife in bed with my best friend.”
Wow,” says the barkeep., “What did you do about it?”
“I walked over to my wife, looked her in the eye, told her to pack her stuff, and get the hell out.”
“That makes sense,” remarks the barkeep., “And, what about your best friend?”
“I looked him right in the eye and yelled, “Bad dog!
Little Johnny and her mother were out and about. Little Johnny, out of the blue, asked her mother, “Mommy, How old are you?” The mother responded, “Honey, women dont talk about their age. Youll learn this as you get older.
Little Johnny then asked, “Mommy, how much do you weight?” Her mother responded again, “Thats another thing women dont talk about. Youll learn this too, as you grow up.”
Little Johnny still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, “Mommy, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, “Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I dont want to talk about it now.”
The Little Johnny , frustrated, sulks until he is dropped off at a friends house to play. He consults with his friend about him and her mothers conversation. His friend says, “All you have to do is sneak and look at your mothers drivers license. Its just like a report card from school. It tells you everything.”
Later, the Little Johnny and her mother are out and about again. The Little Johnny starts off with, “Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are, Youre 32 years old.”
The mother is very shocked. She asks, “Sweetheart, how do you know that?”
The Little Johnny shrugs and says, “I just know. And I know how much you weight. You weight 130 pounds.”
“Where did you learn that?”, said the mother again.
The Little Johnny says, “I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an “F” in sex.”
You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on,
wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me…